Doula vs. Coach: What’s the Difference?
Doulas vs Coaches: Similarities, Differences, and Why It Matters
Last week, I was a guest on a podcast (one of many coming up—I'll be sure to share them as they air), and I had the opportunity to talk about one of my favorite topics: doulas. I love discussing what is a doula, what does a doula do, coaching vs doula services, and the doula career path.
Most of all, I love talking about the tremendous impact doulas make in people’s lives, whether during birth, death, divorce, cancer, gender transition, dementia, surgery, pet loss, or any other challenging life event.
I was asked one of the most common questions I’ve heard and want to say more about it here:
What’s the difference between a doula and a coach?
This question is so important because it gets to the heart of what makes the doula role so unique.
Many people confuse doulas with life coaches. While both provide support to individuals seeking help, their approach and scope have nuanced differences.
Here's how to unravel the confusion...
The Key Differences Between a Doula and a Coach
What Does a Coach Do?
A coach typically:
- Works with clients for an extended period (months or years).
- Focuses on specific areas of life, like sports, personal growth, work, relationships, health, business, or writing a book.
- Helps clients set goals and create strategies to achieve them.
- Provides tools, information, emotional support, and recommendations.
- Meets with clients regularly and on a structured schedule.
What Does a Doula Do?
A doula, on the other hand:
- Supports clients through a specific life event with significant emotional and/or physical challenges, such as birth, end-of-life, miscarriage, fertility treatment, adoption, marriage, cancer care, surgery, menopause, incarceration, or psychedelic therapy.
- Works within a limited timeframe (days, weeks, or months, but rarely more than a year).
- Views these specific life events as a rite of passage with the potential for great transformation if the experience is held in a sacred container, witnessed, and integrated afterward.*
- Helps clients identify concerns, plan for their experience, and create strategies for support.
- Provides information, skills, and emotional support—but doesn’t make recommendations.
- Uses relaxation, stress-reduction, and coping skills for both themselves and their clients.
- Meets with clients for a prescribed number of visits: planning, check-ins, the event itself, post-event visits to process what happened, and integration.*
- Accompanies their client during part or all of the specific event*
- Advocates for their clients' wishes with others.
- Understands the intersection of culture, politics, family, and belief systems on a person’s experience.*
- Works in a trauma-informed way to ensure compassionate care.
*Not all doulas do this, but this is what I include when I train doulas so they can provide the deepest level of human-centered support.
The Unique Role of a Doula: More Than Just Coaching
I am a retired birth doula and a current writing coach, so I know how the roles differ. Here’s a real life example of a doula vs. a coach:
As a birth doula, I would contract to work with my clients for about 4 months. We’d meet for two visits in the last three months of their pregnancy; at least one of those visits would be in person. In those visits, I’d learn about their desires for their birth, their fears or concerns, how they wanted to work together and with me, other people who would be involved in their birth, and find out what they needed to know or learn to feel prepared. Most of our time in these visits was me listening to their answers to my open-ended questions. We’d draft a birth plan and a postpartum plan and they’d share those documents with care providers and family support.
When they went into labor, I’d join them at home in early labor, accompany them to the birth center or hospital (or help them call the midwife for a home birth), and provide emotional support, hands-on comfort, encouragement, suggestions, and decision-making support throughout labor. I would advocate for their wishes and make sure their preferences were respected. After their baby was born, I’d stay for a few hours until they were stable, the baby was feeding, and everyone was settled in for a rest.
After the birth, I’d visit them at home to see how recovery was going, make sure they had what they needed, provide support with feeding and newborn care, check in on the relationship with partner and older children, and help with anything around the house. A month or so later, I’d visit again and we’d review their birth experience, process any lingering questions and emotions, and integrate their experience into their current version of themselves.
As a writing coach, I contract to work with my clients for 6-12 months. I meet with them in a virtual meeting to find out about the book they want to write, why they want to write it, and what they hope to do with their book. I provide tools to help them identify the purpose of their book, how to outline it, and tips for writing and organizing a manuscript. They determine their writing goals (words written by certain dates), and we develop a project plan for how they’re going to get the book written.
We meet monthly to review their work. I suggest edits and provide instruction on various aspects of writing craft (dialog, scenic depiction, point of view, the use of literary devices, tense) as we go. If they run into obstacles like dealing with writer’s block, writing emotionally intense scenes, or having to omit a favorite character who just isn’t working, I listen, provide emotional support, and develop strategies to address them.
When their manuscript is done (if it is completed during the time we work together), I help them decide how they want to publish their book, find an editor, organize a beta read, write a query letter for agents, or draft a book proposal for publishers.
Now we can look at the skills and services provided as a doula and as a coach side by side:
Doula vs Coach Role Comparison
| Skill / Services |
In person visits
Virtual visits
Asking open-ended questions
Develop strategies
Create plans
Provide information
Share tools
Teach skills
Accompany them to
Provide emotional support
Provide hands-on support
Help with decision-making
Offer encouragement
Advocate for their wishes
Provide household and relationship support
Process the experience
Help integrate lingering emotions
| Doula |
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
| Coach |
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
X
As you can see, there is a lot of overlap in our services. It’s the in-person, hands-on support, and the emotional processing and integration after the event that make the difference.
Why This Distinction Matters: How Doulas Provide Life-Changing Support
There are very nuanced differences around the special communication skills doulas use, the way information is shared, and what advocacy looks like. These nuances are detailed in the Core Principles and Unique Skills of a doula. The doula approach fosters a depth of trust that is created very quickly.
But the biggest difference between a coach and a doula is the nature of the event they support.
You have likely heard of birth, postpartum, or death doulas. They are definitely the most common. But doulas are popping up to support many more of life’s challenging situations. My book, So You Want to Be a Doula, describes 26 different doula roles that exist to help people during emotionally and/or physically challenging events.
Yes, starting a business, writing a book, or changing careers can be emotional and challenging. And it is physically difficult to train your body or change your diet. But these experiences are fundamentally different from receiving a cancer diagnosis, giving birth, or facing the end of life. A doula specializes in holding space for profound, often life-altering transitions—times when the stakes are high, emotions are raw, and support is critical.
That’s why it can be confusing when someone calls themselves a website doula, business doula, or writing doula. I bet those folks are more tuned in to the emotional aspects of those endeavors than the average coach (chances are, they are former doulas). But there is no single event—like a wedding or series of medical visits—that is going to occur, and they aren’t going with their client to a hospital, adoption agency, courtroom, or prison as part of their services.
Doulas provide presence, advocacy, and deep emotional support in a way no other profession does. There’s simply no other role that fosters such trust, humility, and compassion in such a short amount of time.
Learn More About the Doula Role
If you’re intrigued by the work doulas do, or if you’ve ever considered becoming one yourself, I invite you to explore my book, So You Want to Be a Doula. It’s packed with insights about the skills doulas use, the many types of doulas, how to find a training for your chosen doula role, and how to get started in this incredible field.
Know someone who would make a great doula? Share this book with them! Looking for a career change or a way to enhance your current healing or helping profession? This book is a great place to start. It’s now available to order directly from the publisher or Amazon.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
I’d love to hear from you!
- Have you worked with a doula before? What was your experience like?
- What are you reading, watching, or listening to these days that I might enjoy?
Drop a comment below or reply to this post—I always love hearing from you!
And if you know a great podcast where you think I’d be a good guest, let me know!
Wishing you the support of a doula through all of life’s challenges.
—Carrie
